Not to be Borne by N.J. Lysk

Author:N.J. Lysk [Lysk, N.J. & Lysk, N.J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Twins, Gay Romance
Publisher: N.J. Lysk
Published: 2020-10-10T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 7

As marvellous as being able to choose when to wake and where to go and what I did with my own body was... The consequences weren’t really over and they were getting significantly bigger at an alarming rate. Not quite knowing what to expect, other than for me to transform to give birth, we’d decided to stick to the cave we’d been occupying. We’d rubbed the furs with fresh herbs but what helped the most was sleeping in them ourselves, making the space ours.

We’d set down one of the thinner furs Xander had ceded to us—which had miraculously survived our captor—out to cover the spot where the ground was still stained. Sometimes I thought I could smell the blood still, but no matter how powerful my nostrils, the only way I would get even a whiff was if I pressed them right against the rock where it’d spilled.

I knew it was in my head. I thought it was probably in Zybyn’s head too, brave as he was. He didn’t speak of it, but I knew by the way he’d cling to me when he woke in the night, shaking his head if I tried to ask him what made him seize and cry out and then simply weep quietly. I could give him time, and space, and the warmth of my presence. I had failed to keep him safe before, but I would still make the promise to try again—whatever it cost me to feel him fall apart in my arms.

I dreamt too, mostly of what had happened to us both, and I’d wake up in a terror, trying to get away from him despite having gone to sleep tangled in his arms. It didn’t take Zybyn long to figure out he had to let me get away first before I would be ready to take his comfort. That night was particularly bad, maybe because we’d gone to the river to bathe that day and I’d noticed how big my belly was, big enough to float a little in the water. I crawled back into the bedding but turned my back to him, not wanting it between us.

But this was Zybyn, my twin, and his hand kept rubbing my arm until it got to my hand curled around my middle. His fingers fit perfectly on top of mine, pressing my fingers against the distended skin but not touching it himself. “You freaked out?” he asked, though it wasn’t like he didn’t know.

I inhaled as slowly as I could manage, nodding a bit.

“The puma knows how to do this,” he offered, pressing his chin to the top of my shoulder, and I knew him too; for some crazy reason he wanted to touch it. But he wouldn’t ask, not beyond his hand on top of mine. “You just let it take over and—”

I yanked my hand from under his, it was the only way I could make myself do it, and Zybyn gasped as his palm landed on my belly and I put mine on top to keep it there.

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